Does it deliver? COCAINE SHARK is an upcoming Syfy-esque shark movie hoping to cash in on the coked-out killer animal craze. So Steph (Cheer) is joined by special guest Jamie Marino for a wild discussion about the surprise hit COCAINE BEAR and the surprisingly unhinged COCAINE SHARK.ĬOCAINE BEAR promises hilarious hijinks and a ridiculous romp filled with gore, humor, and a berzerker bear. This week, our co-host Casey (aka Loathing) is on vacation. Ouija Seance : The Final Game is available on VOD now (as of July 3, 2018) and will arrive on DVD on August 3, 2018. But do look past the trite mess in the foreground for a glimpse or two of solid filming. If you decide to watch, once is really enough, and even then, I wouldn’t include it in a Ouija movie marathon. Ouija Seance: The Final Game is firmly sitting on the “once is enough” list for me. I wholeheartedly try to give every movie a chance, hence my three watches. That little bit of nostalgia and solid filming technique saved this movie from being a total waste of time. The funny thing here is, as much as I was annoyed with this movie, its aesthetic reminded me of my college days watching straight-to-Netflix horror every afternoon. We also get a few instances of fast motion scenery, channeling a Blair Witch time-jump vibe. The coloring was very Italian, with warm sunset skies shining on the actors during the day, and beautiful blue moonlight cascading down at night. If you can get through the acting and ignore the plot altogether, you’ll find the cinematography is actually very nice. And I’m not even going to mention the ridiculous shadow demon following Sarah through the house…īut alas, I watched it a third time, trying desperately to find something I did like. Why did her mother run away? Why was Sarah so upset about something that she couldn’t have possibly comprehended as a toddler? Why is this curse even still a thing when the person it was placed on, her mother, is dead? Why didn’t the groundskeeper step in earlier if he knew what would happen if they found the board? The story is confusing and contradicts itself many times. When I wasn’t rolling my eyes from their incredibly clichéd behavior, I was becoming more and more frustrated with the amount of questions that were popping up about Sarah and the board. I grew more and more annoyed with this selfish set of “friends.” No amount of chemistry (which wasn’t there to begin with) could save the actors from the writing. It didn’t get better with the second watch either. Unfortunately, I found the board didn’t live up to the hype I built it up to be the seance was an extremely quick occurrence of the lights flickering once and the window being gently blown open. As much as I love the nostalgic look of the Milton Bradley board, I was very excited to see a change to a more cryptic-looking device. The Ouija board itself is unique, a circular tree ring with latin inscriptions and a pentagram etched into the wood. It actually took about 25 minutes to find the board, which seems like a short time until you realize that 25 minutes is a third of the way through - a third with no Ouija in sight. I went in expecting a movie that got straight to the action: friends find a haunted Ouija board, use it, and experience chaos. Not because it was confusing or required me to use my brain more than usual, but because I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not. They decide to play a game of Ouija, but end up revealing dark secrets of Sarah’s family history.Ĭan they escape with their lives, or will they succumb to the dark spirits of the Italian villa? After the first watch, Ouija Seance: The Final Game was a little troublesome to wrap my brain around. The group explore the old house and find a hidden room littered with dusty bottles and a peculiar-looking spirit board. After a cancelled party, she and three of her friends decide to stay at the villa for the weekend. Sarah, a student in Italy, learns of an old country villa she has recently inherited from her estranged grandmother. Ouija Seance: The Final Game makes a play at bringing something new to the supernatural spirit board sub genre, but it fails to bring its A game.
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